


Kote Lackless, Oblivious Idiot

by forthwrite



Category: Kingkiller Chronicles - Patrick Rothfuss
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble, Gen, One-Shot, not crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 18:10:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1314298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forthwrite/pseuds/forthwrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kvothe is a Dungeons and Dragons character.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kote Lackless, Oblivious Idiot

**Author's Note:**

> The italics were directly lifted from the back of the book.  
> Kingkiller Chronicles belongs to Patrick Rothfuss. I am just having some fun with the characters.

_My name is Kvothe. _

 

_ I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of  Trebon . I have spent the night with  Felurian  and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during the day. I have talked to Gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep. _

_ You may have heard of me.  _

'Well, what do you think?' I asked.

'I think it makes you out to be an even bigger arrogant ass than you already are,'  Wil  said.

'Hey!' I said. 'Don't insult the awesomeness that is Kote Lackless.'

Wil rolled his eyes. 

'You gotta admit though, it makes Kvothe sound badass.'

'Yeah, but who are you trying to impress? Me? Sim? Ambrose? I'll admit, if I have to, that your Kvothe character is pretty cool, but we've been playing Dungeons and Dragons together for years.'

'No reason,' I mumbled.

'This is because  Denna's coming to play tomorrow, isn't it?' Wil asked. 

'No!' I said quickly. Maybe a bit too quickly, in retrospect. 

'Kote, we all know you've been crushing on her ever since she joined your ultra preppy music school.'

'Yeah,' I mumbled. 'But she's completely out of my league.'

'You know, considering how high your IQ is, it's impressive how much of an idiot you can be sometimes.'

'What did I do now?'

'Its obvious to everyone that she likes you.'

'Really?' I asked.

'Ambrose keeps oncomplaining that she won't stop talking about a certain annoying, red-headed musical prodigy. He also told me to tell you that if you hurt his sister, he'll destroy you.'

'Thank you for the vote of confidence,' I said.

'Hey, _I_ think you should just ask her out already. Anyway, you staying for dinner? I think we've got some frozen pizza in the freezer. '

'Only if it's pepperoni,' I said, turning back to my character sheet. 

I sometimes wish I was Kvothe. I've spent years working on him, and his stats are a whole lot more impressive than my own capabilities. Maybe Kvothe, with his 18 Charisma and 19 Intelligence would be able to win Denna over. Me, Kote, nerdy harp player who spends way too much time playing RPG's? Not a chance.  

So maybe, tomorrow, when Denna comes over, I'll channel Kvothe. Be suave, sophisticated, witty. Everything that Kote is not. And maybe Kvothe will get the girl of his dreams.

And maybe, one day, Kote will too.

Fin

**Author's Note:**

> I have never actually played Dungeons and Dragons, so I apologize for any incorrect terminology.  
> reviews are always welcome :)


End file.
